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Interpersonal Analysis

#自我探索131
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This post is translated from Chinese into English through AI.View Original
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The content discusses the dynamics of interpersonal relationships, emphasizing the importance of "framework" and "energy." **Framework** refers to personal preferences, boundaries, and how these are communicated to others. The interaction between people often involves testing these frameworks, such as through initial politeness. **Energy** is primarily derived from one's capabilities. It highlights the idea that true strength is often unrecognized, while those who are well-known may not be the most skilled. The text also discusses the significance of personal power, noting that self-confidence stems from one's abilities. To enhance personal appeal, one must improve their capabilities, which can be broken down into value and scarcity. Finding the right "track" involves aligning strengths and interests. The text emphasizes the relativity of value, suggesting that individuals should identify what makes them valuable to others and cultivate their uniqueness. Five aspects to build scarcity include information, knowledge, ability, cognition, and resources. Authenticity is also highlighted as a powerful trait, with a call to be genuine and sincere. Lastly, the text touches on the duality of human nature, balancing aspirations (divine qualities) with practical wisdom (animal instincts), and the importance of leveraging one's environment for energy and advantage.
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Framework#

Charm consists of framework and energy.

The process of interpersonal communication is a process of testing each other's frameworks, such as the politeness and courtesy when meeting for the first time.

Framework refers to what one likes, what one dislikes, and what the bottom line is. These can be conveyed to others in a timely manner without allowing others to cross one's bottom line.

Energy#

The most important component of energy is strength.

"Victorious soldiers win first and then seek battle; defeated soldiers seek battle first and then seek victory."

Victory and defeat are merely outcomes; the prerequisites are the causes. Victory and defeat are determined before the battle; the battlefield merely presents this outcome.

"A good warrior has no clever reputation, no brave achievements," later commentators say, "A good warrior has no remarkable achievements, and a good doctor has no glorious name." A true good warrior is not famous because their victories are the norm. Famous people are those who turn the tide, but they are not truly good warriors. Similarly, those who are truly skilled in medicine can prevent problems before they arise and are not famous.

Strength#

"Inferiority and arrogance are twin brothers; we must be confident, and the pillar of confidence is strength."

  1. Society admires the strong.

The silence of the strong is wise, and the talkative strong are approachable. In contrast, the silence of the weak is low emotional intelligence and poor communication, while the talkative weak fail to get to the point. How others perceive you depends on how they view your strength.

  1. In the face of absolute strength, so-called skills and means are useless.

For example, when most people complain about not finding a partner, a few can have so many choices.

The above two points explain the universally existing 80/20 rule and the Matthew effect, which are things we as individuals cannot change. What we can do is understand the rules of the game and how to play the game of life well.

How to Enhance Strength#

The most direct way to enhance personal charm is to enhance personal strength, which can be subdivided into: Value + Scarcity.

Before thinking about how to enhance, one must first find their own track.

Finding the Track#

Finding a track requires both advantages and interests, meaning what you are good at + what you like.

  • Advantage: Doing things quickly and well, effortlessly, and receiving praise.

  • Interest: Being personally interested in it; for example, does playing games require persistence?

Clarifying Value#

There is no absolute value, only relative value. Many values are only useful in specific contexts. For example, a skiing champion has no value in a company but is eye-catching at the Winter Olympics. (ps, this is just a simple hypothetical condition.)

We need to excavate the value that others need from us.

Excavating Scarcity#

There are many valuable things in the world, such as sunshine, air, and water, but they are not rare, so they have no price; similarly, farming and working on construction sites are valuable activities, but because the barriers to entry are low, the wages are not high.

Do not expect nostalgia in employment relationships; just like changing phones, practicality is the truth. Therefore, do not place hope in others; focus on improving yourself.

To build one's own scarcity, one can think from the following five aspects:

Information

In this age of information overload, collecting and organizing high-quality information is a skill in itself. Since ancient times, information asymmetry has been a way to make money. For example, I consider my search skills to be quite good.

Knowledge

Knowledge requires long-term accumulation, transforming quantitative changes into qualitative changes to form a systematic understanding. A systematic knowledge base allows for interdisciplinary understanding.

Ability

Knowledge is acquired through listening, seeing, and learning, while ability is developed through practice. The prevalence of computers is largely due to the efficient conversion of mathematical and scientific knowledge into employable skills. Similarly, the difficulty of employment in the humanities is related to the challenge of converting literary and historical knowledge into practical abilities.

The essence of making money is having the ability to solve others' problems and needs, for which others exchange money. Therefore, one must learn to convert their knowledge into the abilities needed in society.

Cognition

Cognition is high-dimensional thinking. Empathize with others, think from different perspectives; step out of the present and think about the bigger picture; reverse engineer current actions from future goals; stand in the present time dimension and predict future trends and opportunities.

All of the above are different types of cognition. The way to enhance cognition is to interact with high-level individuals, especially those in the same field.

Resources

Business resources: suppliers, channels, customers.

Personal resources: money, connections, and personal cultivation or conversational skills.

Connections are not merely having many contacts with influential people on WeChat; the standard for judging connections is whether you can provide help to them.

Beyond Strength#

Authenticity#

Authentic things are powerful. Taking the short video track as an example, in this market nearing saturation, what often goes viral online are authentic things, such as "Retreat, Retreat, Retreat." Similarly, the reason people enjoy watching street arguments is also due to authenticity.

Authenticity is simple, yet many people fail to achieve it.

Regardless of success or failure, being a genuine and sincere person is always true to oneself.

Divinity and Animality#

Human nature is something between divinity and animality.

Divinity refers to where we want to go, our goals, visions, and missions.

When we have a firm goal, we will have a sense of confidence: just because I am not strong now does not mean I won't be strong in the future. Do not underestimate the youth; maintain this mindset, fear no one, and do not shy away from any challenges.

Animality refers to where we come from.

A baby falls every step it takes, but it learns to walk; a lion, when hunting, does not ponder what to do if it fails to catch its prey; if it cannot catch it, it simply moves on to the next one. One must possess simple animal wisdom, not overthink, be a giant in thought, and a fool in action.

When you think too much, you will have many problems; when you take action, you will find all the answers. Even if the answers are wrong, they are still valuable experiences.

Home Court#

The home court can provide us with energy, that is, home court advantage. One must clarify their home court and utilize it.

References#

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